Posted by: Dr. Carolyn Edwards | November 1, 2012

Ask Dr. E – Characteristics of a Good Man and How to Find One

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Dr. E my friend can’t find a man. We go out and she only talks to men she thinks are suitable daters or for a relationship. She has an extensive list of characteristics she wants in a man but she complains she can’t find a decent man to date, please help.  Dateless in VA.

How to Find a Good Man

Dear dateless, tell your friend to stop looking. When we go about our lives and are happy truly living, we find that others are attracted to our happiness. Tell your friend when she goes out, to take pleasure in the conversation and male company. To relax, laugh and just have fun. Men like communicating with women that are positive, happy, and enjoy themselves.

Secondly, she should remove the long list of expectations. Is she doing everything she can do to make her life great such as eating right, exercising, as well as enjoying her life and career? We should not have expectations of others that we are not fulfilling ourselves.

When she does meet a potential date, tell her to listen and really hear what he says and what he’s about. Characteristics like honesty, integrity, positive attitude and fiscal responsibility should be more important to her than if he drives a luxury vehicle or wears designer clothes. You can buy material things but character and integrity can’t be bought.

The dating journey should be fun. Look at it as an adventure in meeting all types of new people. Be what you seek and don’t look for more in someone than you are willing to do yourself.  Dating shouldn’t be a rush to the finish line but a journey to be enjoyed.

Good Luck,

Dr. E


Dr. Carolyn Edwards is a  life & career management coach, author and  professor.

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