Posted by: Dr. Carolyn Edwards | June 5, 2012

Ask Dr. E – Top Ten Online Dating Tips

Are you stressed, overwhelmed, undecided or need direction?

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Dr. E, do you recommend online dating? I want to try it and I’ve heard some horror stories like people getting robbed or raped. I trust you, if you say I should try it; I will.  Please help me, Atlanta single.

Dear single, you are not alone. People are busy and many don’t spend a lot of time out trying to meet people. So they try it via the internet. Of course there are pros and cons to anything you want to do, however if your goal is to meet new people, meet people from all around the country or even have the opportunity to read about them before you choose to connect face to face, then you should give online dating a try.

According to the 2010 Chadwick Martin Bailey Study 1 out of every 5 singles in the United States dated someone they met online and online dating is the third most popular way for singles to meet, behind school/work and friend/family member. So you are not alone.

However, there are some basic things you should know before you put your profile online. In many cases you can post an online profile for free, while others you can use for fee. You can find online dating sites based on all kinds of criteria such as being single, Black, White, Christian, Jewish, Gay, Lesbian, etc. I suggest you do an internet search to find the site that is best for you.

Here are 10 steps to help you have a successful online dating experience.

  1. Take a current picture of yourself. I suggest a full length one. There’s nothing worse than being attracted to a picture only to find out the person looks nothing like that now.
  2. Write an honest profile that includes your likes, hobbies, personality, etc as well as what you are seeking in your date.
  3. Continue to live your life fully. Be available to date but don’t wait for a one to go to the movies, restaurant, play, etc. people like to meet other people who are excited about their own lives.
  4. Chat or message no more than three people at a time, this way you can really focus on someone you are truly interested in. If you want their attention, give them yours.
  5. Communicate with those that you are truly interested in speaking with you in person.
  6. Make a face to face date within a month of the initial contact (local matches). If they don’t want to meet, they might be looking for online fiends only, married or hiding something.
  7. Have the initial meeting in a public place ie coffee shop, library, restaurant, etc. Go to a place where you will feel comfortable. Trust your gut instincts. If it doesn’t feel right leave.
  8. Consciously show up at the face to face meeting, don’t send an imposter. That means, be yourself. You don’t want someone to start liking the fake you. Have confidence in yourself and be who you are. If it is not a match, then it’s ok. You can move on to the next person.
  9. Follow up with honesty. If you are not interested, thank them for the date and tell them you don’t think you are a match. They might also do the same, so don’t feel bad about if it happens.
  10. Don’t put pressure on yourself or your to be an instant love connection. Enjoy the journey, have fun and meet interesting people.

I have over 15 students and friends that met their spouse online. Good luck,

Dr. E


Dr. Carolyn Edwards is a  life & career management coach, author and  professor. She has a new book out Teach Online 10 Simple Steps to Get Your Resume Noticed and Land the Job. The book teaches you how to use your skills to make working from home or anywhere in the world that has an internet connection. It dispels of the myths of needing advanced degrees to teach online and provides tips, tools and resources from the pros. If you are unemployed, underemployed, need extra cash and are tired of sitting in rush hour traffic, this is the book for you.

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Dr. Carolyn Edwards


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ISBN-13: 978-1452549156

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